March 15, 2010
I am twenty years-old and engaged to be married. My fiancé, “Alex,” who is 22, is really a great guy. We share the same values, but in certain ways we differ in how we view our relationship. Maybe it’s just a Mars/Venus thing, but it does have me worried just the same. For example, he feels that I shouldn’t care how much time he spends with his friends now, because after we are married, we are going to be spending most of our time together. I’m concerned that this won’t change all that much and he’ll stay “one of the boys.” What do you think John, will things really change all that much? Our wedding date is set for six months from now, so I need to know. Thanks, Stephanie in Independence, Missouri
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Posted in John Says, Q&A 
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March 14, 2010
In recent weeks we’ve highlighted some of John’s travels to places as diverse as China, Denmark, and South Africa. Many in America know of the great success of the Mars Venus books in the United States, but often people are not aware that John’s books have been translated into over 40 languages around the world. With the exception of Canada, the international destinations that John has visited most often are both Australia and New Zealand.
In Australia, as John explains in this week’s video message, people are more accepting of the concept that men and women are fundamentally different than any other destination he has visited. And, as John says, while every culture looks at the Mars/Venus dynamic through their own unique cultural lens, Australians are most curious about how the competition between men and women will help shape the future direction of life, not just down under, but around the globe. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in John Says, Message from Mars No Comments »
March 13, 2010
Dear Lauren, in a long distance relationship does email count for being as good as a phone call? My women friends assume that emails are impersonal and that it means the man is uninterested. Here are the facts: we have a 48 year-old airline captain based in Hong Kong who communicates mainly through email to his 29 year- old girlfriend. Can you help women understand why men prefer emails rather than phone call? Bituin, Roxas City, Philippines.
Dear Bituin, Great question! Emails are more comfortable and more suited to the way that men’s brains are designed to communicate. I know it sounds silly to us, but a consistent challenge for men is knowing how long a conversation is supposed to last. Not only that, but they struggle to know how to end a conversation without sounding cold, abrupt, or indifferent. Add that awkward consideration to the fact that, quite honestly, in a “lets catch up” chitchat situation, he doesn’t really know what to say in the first place! Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Dating, –Guys Are from Mars, Girls Are from Venus 2 Comments »
March 12, 2010
Obviously, there is no “one size fits all” answer to that question. But it is far easier to understand when in a relationship you and your partner are ready to have sex if you have an understanding of the four paths to connecting and experiencing true intimacy – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Unless we endeavor to nurture each of these different aspects of who we are, we are not ready to become deeply intimate in any relationship. If we rush into being too intimate on one level, that most commonly being physical, prior to feeling any real connection on any other level, the results are often counterproductive and potentially disastrous to the chances of having a happy and lasting relationship.
When couples have physical intimacy before being connected on these three other levels, the man generally ends up pulling away while the woman feels more needy for the relationship to hold together. A degree of neediness and pulling away are part of the expected Mars/Venus dynamic, but when we are not prepared on all levels, these reactions can be extreme and bring about an abrupt end to the relationship. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Romance & Sex No Comments »
March 11, 2010
If you are not getting the support you want in your relationship, there is a strong possibility that you don’t ask enough or that you are asking in a way that simply does not work. You should not interpret that failure as a sign to stop asking. In truth, feeling free to ask for love and support is essential to the success of any relationship. But remember this: If you want to G-E-T what you want, then you must learn the best possible ways to A-S-K!
There are five keys to asking a Martian for his support. Any one of which might provide the essential path to reaching him successfully. Those five keys are: Appropriate Timing, A Non-demanding Attitude, The Use of Brevity, Being Direct, and perhaps most importantly, Correct Timing. Let’s now examine more closely each one of these five keys to asking a man for his support. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Couple Communication, Marriage No Comments »
March 10, 2010
As reported this week by the Associated Press, there’s been a dramatic drop in the percentage of children being bullied or beaten up by their peers. These findings were revealed in a national survey by experts who believe anti-bullying programs are starting to have an impressive impact on what has been a long standing and difficult problem.
The study, released by the U.S. Department of Justice, noted that the percentage of children reporting physical bullying over the past year had declined from 22 percent in 2003 to under 15 percent in 2008. That percentage difference is a huge drop in a relatively short period of time.
The survey’s lead author, Professor David Finkelhor, was pleased and encouraged by the findings. “Bullying is the foundation on which a lot of subsequent aggressive behavior gets built,” said Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center. Finkelhor believes that if violence is indeed going down, we will reap future benefits in the form of lower rates of violent crime and spousal assault. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Parenting 1 Comment »
March 9, 2010
Kathryn Bigelow’s victory for best director in Sunday night’s Oscars’ ceremony provided a surprising moment for millions of those who tuned in to watch. Undoubtedly the 3,400 attendees seated inside Hollywood’s Kodak Theatre knew that Bigelow’s victory, if it came, would be a first, but the majority of all those far removed from the business of the film industry were most likely surprised to learn that not only was the Bigelow award a first, but that she was just the fourth woman to ever be nominated in this prestigious category.
“Celluloid Ceiling,” which is an annual review issued by San Diego State University detailing employment opportunities for women in the supposedly liberally minded field of film production, reported that out of the 250 top grossing films released in North America during 2009, women directed only seven percent of them. That represents a decrease of two percent form 2008, and more remarkably, it indicates that there has been no change in the percentage of women directing major films since 1987. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Career No Comments »
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