How to Tell Him You Need Him? Hint: Give Him a Task

January 27, 2009

Love means never having to say "I don't need you."

When a woman is in a committed relationship, she may be unaware how deeply the man in her life needs her love and approval.

The simple truth is this: Anytime a man is needed by the woman in his life, he thrives.

So, why doesn’t she know this?

Because she can’t read ManSpeak, which is more actions than words.

Well, let’s face it: many  Martians don’t know how to express what they are truly feeling, let alone how to openly say,  “I don’t feel loved or appreciated.”

Instead, they go off into their caves and sulk. And it’s up to her to figure out what she did or said to make him so upset.

To make matters even more complicated,  in the world of two-income families, males have less of a chance to play their role of a lifetime: the once classic role of provider. And for a man in a relationship, not knowing if he’s loved, or needed, or useful,  is like a slow death. Why is he there, he wonders, if he’s not needed?

In his mind, this is his sole purpose in your relationship.

It’s that old “knight in shining armor” thing.

That said, one of the keys to having, and keeping, a happy relationship is to make sure that your man feels needed. It  starts with giving him a task. This could take the form of a home improvement project, planning a family vacation, or just planning your date night together.

When he finishes it, then very simply say: “Thanks! Great job.”

You’ve just made his day. Best yet, you’ve just said “I love you” in ManSpeak.

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Other MVL Marriage & Commitment Articles

Barack and Michelle Obama: A New First Couple for America

Resisting “Resentment Flu”

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Tick tock...tick tock...

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #17:

Cards and Messages

Should your Valentine’s Day card be serious? Or should it be funny? Or should you get a card at all?

To answer the last question first, yes you should. It’s the most cost-effective way to say “I’m thinking of you, my most precious special person, on this very special day to honor love.”

As to whether or not the message on it should make her laugh or make her cry, just remember this: It should reflect how you feel about her.

Now, the most important part of all: Be sure to write your own note in it as well. Because, when all is said and done, when she opens that card, that is what she will read first, and remember most.

Posted in Marriage