Valentine 911: Our Top Tips Will Make Your Day

February 14, 2009

We're going to help you make this day memorable.

So just who is this Valentine guy, anyway?

At one point in time, historians’ best bet was a martyred Christian named Valentinus, who died around the year 269 CE.

Today they’re not so sure.

Here’s what we know about Valentinus’s backstory: His name means “worthy,” which is apropos, since, supposedly, he performed a miracle by restoring the sight of his jailer’s blind daughter.

It is also important to note that there was more than one Saint Valentine in the history of the Roman Catholic Church.

A connection between Valentine and February 14th was first made when Pope Gelasius I (492-496) created a feast day for Saint Valentine in the hope that it would take the place of a pagan feast that occurred at this same time of year known as Lupercalia, a Roman celebration of fertility.

The defining connection between the holiday and the ancient Valentinus occurred in Paris in the year 1400. Using the language of the law courts for the rituals of courtly love, a “High Court of Love” was established that year on Valentine’s Day in 1400. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. Judges were selected by women on the basis of a poetry reading. In the decades after that professions of love became associated with St. Valentine’s Day, even this mention in Shakespere’s Hamlet in which Ophelia says,

To-morrow is Saint Valentine’s day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn’d his clothes,
And dupp’d the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.

For over two hundred years after that time recognition of Valentine’s Day faded from view until it was popularized again in the early Nineteenth Century England and gained wide acceptance in America around 1850 where the sending of Valentine’s notes of love and devotion became an accepted part of our culture. Today Valentine’s Day card sending is second only to the sending of holiday wishes during the Christmas season.

But of course, for those in committed relationships, Valentine’s is much more than that. It can be as simple as a card, or as elaborate as a full day of not-so-random acts of devotion.

In fact, the less random the better: Yes, you should take time to plan a day in which you honor the person you love the most in life.

For the past month we’ve put a Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip at the end of each MarsVenusLiving.com article. As much as it would kick up this website’s visit count to make you chase down each and every one, we’ve stacked them all for you, below.

Consider it an early Valentine’s gift.

Okay, now, you’ve still got a few hours to get your act in gear. We have all the confidence that, with this little tip sheet,  you’ll make it a memorable day for both of you.

Tick tock...tick tock...

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #1: Just Desserts

Love is a dish best served warmly: from the loving arms of one beloved to another. Even if you aren’t the best cook in the world, on this special day try showing your love with with a tasty treat. It doesn’t have to be a complicated dish (in other words, save any untested recipe for crème brûlée for another occasion) but something sweet and simple: say, an ice cream sundae for two. For a Valentine’s spin, consider sprinkling with pink M&Ms and drizzling with cherry sauce as opposed to hot fudge. Then again, go for both! And remember: presentation is everything. Serve it in a special occasion dish. Don’t have one? Buy one that wil make your partner smile.

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #2: Just Say “Darling”

Terms of endearment are very important to hear, particularly on this day. Any and every chance you can use it, do so: Even if it’s just to say: “Pass the toothpaste, honey.” The subliminal message you’re giving your partner is “Every time I look or think of you, I also think of how much in love I am with you.” Now, that’s a message that anyone would love to hear!

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #3: Kids and Cupid

Romance is not easy to accomplish with a houseful of children. That said, line up a babysitter at least a month in advance of February 14th.

If you’re still having a hard time finding one, find another couple who has been luckier in finding one, even if your plans take you in different directions and offer to double the sitter’s fee.

The key to making this work is knowing that your children play well with those of the other couple. (And that makes the sitter’s duties a lot easier to boot.)

And remember: To make it worth the sitter’s time and effort, leave her a big tip. That way, she’ll be sure to be available the next time you need her.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #4: Passion Play

As romantic as movies can be, on the big day, consider  a theatrical outing instead. Musicals by Lloyd Weber, or Rogers and Hammerstein. Dramas by O’Neill or Mamet. Comedies by Wasserstein or Simon—all incite passion with words or song. For putting romance front row and center in your hearts, the play’s the thing!

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #5: Food Sets the Mood

Even if your plans for the 14th are to stay at home, the kitchen can be a great place for romance. Keep things simple, and prepare ahead. Consider comfort food dishes that you and your partner love already, because they hold specially memories. Do try one thing new: maybe a yummy dessert. What makes meal really special: the setting! Tablecloth, candles, flowers, and other accoutrements will set the tone. Just be creative, and know that the really sweet part occurs after dinner…

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #6: For This Date, Go Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Even on special dates, we get into ruts: you know, fall into patterns of doing the same thing over and over again. You do the same thing, say go to a movie, or eat at the same restaurant. Perhaps you even order the same meal. You know the usual…

Well, not tonight. Suprise your partner – and yourself – by planning something totally out of character. No one is asking you to bungie-jump together into some abyss (figuratively, or literally). But do take the time to think out of the box to make this special date a memorial surprise: one you’ll both talk about for years to come. And remember: whatever you end up doing, your partner will love your surprise – and the fact that you worked so hard to take your relationship in a new direction.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #7: Blooming Love

Yes, flowers are always appreciated on any day, but especially this one. And certainly red roses are traditional. But if your loved one doesn’t see herself as one of a crowd, acknowledge this with flowers that are both unique and memorable. In other words, skip the traditional dozen red roses. Instead, go for something totally different: say, purple calla lillies. If you feel that’s too much of a leap, do roses with a difference.  Go for buds (yellow, or pink) instead of blooms, or a rainbow of colors, and two dozen as opposed to just one.

BIG MUST-DO: Order flowers in advance! Special orders take longer, and you don’t want your to get lost in the red rose rote shuffle.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #8: Love, in Small Packages

If you truly want to make an impression with your beloved, don’t shoot for just one big item that may be hit or miss. Instead, consider the little things that will mean even more. A photo of the two of you, in a beautiful frame. A love letter sprayed with a favored perfume. Matching scarves, or shirts. A charm on a string that has meaning to you both. Wrap 4 or 5 of these individually, then hand them over throughout the evening. Each gift will be a surprise. Each surprise will honor a memory.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #9: Lighten Up

Eventually your Valentine’s outing will end up at home. To keep that romantic mood going long into the night, set the scene before you leave. A simple way to do this is to have plenty of candles on hand: all sizes and shapes, in various containers. Put them on surfaces throughout your bedroom. And don’t bother to turn on the lights! When it comes to lovemaking, ambiance is everything… (Well, almost.)

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #10: Love Every Hour, on the Hour

Your beloved doesn’t need reminders that this is a very special day in both your lives. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t leave little messages that reinforce your love and affection. Once an hour, do so by text message or email. This lets your partner know that you’re counting down the minutes to when you are both together again.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #11: S.W.A.K.

Kisses show love and affection. They are also the best form of foreplay. In anticipation of the wonderful day before you, start it with a nice, long kiss. No, not a quick peck that says: “I’m rushed, and we don’t have time for this…” but something that indicates your excitement about the romance you’ll share on this very special date.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #12: Dress Up for This Special Day

Do you remember the last time your heart went pitter-patter for your beloved? At the time, your partner probably looked his or her best. That was because he or she was trying to make a memorable impression—and succeeded.

Special occasions call for a little extra effort: all the more reason to spiff up for Valentine’s Day. Women, if you rarely put on make-up, go get glam’ed up at your favorite department store makeup counter. Most makeovers are free, with the purchase of some cosmetics that you’ll now know how to use to your best advantage. Put on a party dress, heels, and do your nails and hair.  Guys, a jacket and slacks, or suit with tie, will have her whistling her approval. As the old saying goes, if you look important, you’ll feel important. And when you see the admiration in your partner’s eyes, you’ll feel appreciated, too.

Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #13: Start the Day with a Random Act of Passion

Passion doesn’t always mean sex. Sometimes it’s just a way of showing your loved one that you appreciate their attractiveness or sensuality. That said, consider starting the morning of February 14th with some act that honors that facet. Here’s one idea: draw a bath. Use scented bath salts. Put out thick towels and a robe. Your partner will feel your love in more ways than one…

Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #14: Kisses and Hugs

Even if you and your beloved aren’t normally demonstrative with your love (as in touching, holding hands, kissing and hugging) make February 14th  the day in which you both go out of the way to do so. Nothing puts you in the mood for romance faster, which is why touching is a precursor to lovemaking. The more romantic you feel, the happier you’ll be, both as an individual and as a couple. So go ahead and S.W.A.K.

MVL Valetine’s Day Countdown Tip # 15: The Focus Is On Togetherness

One of the big mistakes couples make is taking Valentine’s Day for granted. You or your partner thinks: “We love each other 24/7, therefore Valentine’s Day is for amateurs” or “I say ‘I love you’ all the time. Why do I have to make one day more special than all the rest?”

The answer to that question is very simple: Because it will mean a great deal to your partner.

Yes, your partner knows you love him and her. And yes, he or she sees this in a multitude of ways, in your many random acts of passion. But if you conveniently “forget” February 14th as the official day of love, what you demonstrate to your beloved is that you aren’t’ willing to go that one extra step to acknowledge them (privately, not necessarily publicly) for what they mean to you.

This isn’t a Hallmark moment. It’s a personal moment. So take that one day to do something that will touch the both of you for the rest of your lives.

But a word to the wise: Dial that number! Now!

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #17: Cards and Messages

Should your Valentine’s Day card be serious? Or should it be funny? Or should you get a card at all?

To answer the last question first, yes you should. It’s the most cost-effective way to say “I’m thinking of you, my most precious special person, on this very special day to honor love.”

As to whether or not the message on it should make her laugh or make her cry, just remember this: It should reflect how you feel about her.

Now, the most important part of all: Be sure to write your own note in it as well. Because, when all is said and done, when she opens that card, that is what she will read first, and remember most.

MVL Valentine’s Day Tip #18: Be in the “Here and Now”

Sure, you’re stressed out. You’ve got money problems, you’re worried about your job, and the tension between you and your loved one is (for lack of a better word) crispy.

Yeah, okay. That’s still no reason to ruin this very special day of love.

All the issues that concern you are temporary. On the other hand, the things  you two do together on this day will go down in history.

The history you share, together.

So on February 14th, don’t be thinking about money. Or your job. Or anything but your beloved, and the these precious 24 hours you have to spend together.

In other words, go out and make a memory.

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #19: So Sweet!

A chocolate trifle. A decadent cupcake. A heart-shaped lollipop. If both of you are still holding firm on your New Year’s resolution diets, don’t feel you have to gorge yourself with a box of Valentine’s chocolates. Then again, one little bite of something sweet won’t undo all your hard work. Make is something truly worth your while. Then, the next day, walk off the calories together.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #20: Romance Remix

One simple homemade gift that will sing to your beloved: burn a CD with all the tunes that bring back romantic memories.  You can include a card that reminds you both of the time and place for each song made its impression on your hearts.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #21: Don’t Argue, Be Happy

If, for some reason, there is an unresolved issue between you when February 14th roles around, just drop it. That day is not the day. It can wait 24 hours — that is, if you feel the need to pick it up again.  But if Valentine’s day is a joyous romantic occasion, you may just forget about it all together.

All the more reason to forget about it.

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #22: Just Say “Happy Valentine’s Day”

Whether you have planned a simple meal at home or an ongoing extravaganza of events, start February 14th by saying: “I love  you honey. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Then, anything else that happens is just icing on the (yum) cupcake.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #23: Take a Shower – Together

A great way to relax is to take a shower. If it’s not already part of your usual routine, on Valentine’s Day, start a new tradition: Shower together.

You’ll enjoy feeling the water on your backs, not to mention soaping each other up.  And of course, you’ll have fun drying each other off — before getting in bed together, of course.

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #24: Ban the TV

February 14th is a day for gazing into your loved one’s eyes, and focusing on them with your heart and soul. But you can’t do that, if either of you are staring at the boob tube.

Solution: Turn it off for the whole day. No sports games. No soap operas. No Friends or Seinfeld repeats. Instead, do something together that excites you, provokes you, inspires you, and makes you want to talk to each other for hours on end.

Is that a movie? Perhaps.

A play? Maybe.

Lovemaking? For sure!

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #25: Breakfast in Bed

If you’re under the impression that breakfast in bed is corny, think again. Your belove will be touched that you took the time and effort to wake up and hit the kitchen in order to show your love. A cup of coffee and a croissant. A scrambled egg with toast. Anything at all – served up with a Valentine, store-bought or handmade – will have your partner eating out of your hand for the rest of the day.

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #26: The Look of Love

The reflection of your love for your beloved belongs on your bathroom mirror.

Tape it there, or eave it on a sticky note.

Or write a love note in shaving cream. (But not lipstick; too hard to clean, and too expensive to ruin!)

Here’s the perfect message to leave: “Every time I look into your face, I see the love in your heart. It will always be a reflection of my own.”  ‘Nuf said.

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #27: Baby Love

Take your beloved’s baby picture and write a love letter to the child there. Tell him or her what you know to be the love you’ll share and the memories you’ll make together. You’ll go back to the future together.

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #28: Laugh Together

Love is serious stuff. That said, sometime on February 14th, share a laugh together. An inside joke will do. Just something that evokes a chuckle from the both of you, at the same time.

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #29: Touch-Ups

The best gift to give each other? How about massages?

Many massage therapists are offering specials for Valentine’s Day. Even if a couples massage is out of your budget, a scented lotion from your local drug store is affordable, and a loving rub-down by your beloved is priceless. Enjoy!

MVL Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #30:

Bling, Bling, Bling

In this recessionary economy, should you take a pass on  jewelry as a gift for your beloved?

Not necessarily. In fact, with all the sales going on now, jewelry might be just the thing that says, “You’re priceless to me.”

In fact retailers are doing their part. Prices for watches (for her) and money clips or cufflinks (for him)  have never been lower.

And if you see an item that still is over your budget, don’t be afraid to bargain with the salesperson. (Pssst: It happens all the time…)

MVL’s Valentine’s Day Countdown Tip #31: Picture This

The simplest gift to give your beloved: a treasured photo, reframed. Many photos we display are in frames that don’t do them justice. With a beautiful new frame, you give the photo – and the memory captures – new life.

Another suggestion: If your computer contains a jpg file of the two of you that has never been printed, do so before February 14th. And remember: make the frame worthy of the photo and the memory!

Posted in Romance & Sex