He can make her happy, even during the planning hassles.
Probably the most common complaint made by a bride-to-be is that her groom-to-be is simply not “pulling his weight,” in the planning for their big day.
No doubt that most weddings, whether modest, or huge, have a hundred or more details ranging from the somewhat important to the essential. Too often, to the bride’s disappointment and at times her great annoyance, the groom is quite simply missing in action.
During this important time in both their lives, here’s the best way for newlyweds to share the responsibilities as well as the joy.
The reality of this situation is that unlike many women who have spent a good part of their lives fantasizing about their wedding day, men just don’t invest this kind of time and attention into the planning for the big day. It’s a mistake, however, to think that the day is not very important to him, because it is without doubt.
Even on weekends, when he should be able to give more attention to sharing in the preparation for the big day, he’d rather be out playing golf, softball, or just fishing with his buddies.
And why? Because on Mars weddings are viewed more like this: “I love her, I want to marry her, we’ve got to do this marriage ceremony thing so everyone is happy and it’s what makes us all legal. Tell me where to show up, and what I’m supposed to do, and I’ll be there, but I don’t want to get pulled into the planning and all the details.”
Unsaid in this is that a big part of a man’s reluctance to get into the details is rooted in his perception that this is a place where his input is not really desired. When the average male sees four or five women working diligently on some aspect of planning for the big day, they are very cautious about getting involved. Men know when they are outnumbered and are understandably reluctant to push their way into the circle.
The best use a bride can make of the groom?
Simple: Give him one specific task and let him then run that project.
It might be choosing the entertainment for the reception, or perhaps seeing that the transportation to take the guests from the site of the wedding ceremony to the reception is all arranged. Additionally you can keep the groom busy with planning the various options for the perfect honeymoon.
As the big day draws near, the vast majority of grooms will step up to the plate and come through with flying colors. Very few of them are ever going to win any awards for party planning, but before he reaches to lift his wife’s veil and give her that first kiss, he’ll prove himself worthy of the trust that his bride-to-be placed in him long before she ever said, “I do.”
