Why Women Won’t Say: “I Love You, Man Boy.”

March 27, 2009

I am man boy, hear me roar...

The man boy is the cinema’s new hero.

He’s joshed his way onto our screens before: Lou Costello and Jerry Lewis precede this latest crop, as do John Bulushi, John Candy, Mike Myers and Will Ferrell. Today’s man boys include Steve Carell and Paul Rudd, as well as Seth Rogan, and Jason Segel.

Whereas in old school films they were just goofy sidekicks, these new man boys are now leading men.

Seriously, what’s with that? Are women really enthralled with pudgy geeks and nerds who refuse to grow up? Is this truly the New Millennium’s Mr. Right?

Hardly.

The answer is simple economics: The largest movie-going demographic happens to be 16-29 year-old males. And Hollywood loves to follow the money.

In most cases, they are single males and unlike their female counterparts, who use a larger portion of their discretionary income for clothes and beauty products, the man boy’s unencumbered status means he has the $10 for the average Saturday night movie ticket.

And what guy wouldn’t want to see himself portrayed as the guy who gets the girl?

The man boy’s Cyrano de Bergerac is screenwriter/director Judd Apatow. He thoroughly gets this guy, keeping him in his natural habitat (either lives in his parent’s basement or a small pad decked out with the usual boy toys: big screen TVs, Wii’s and other video games, perhaps a garage band set-up) and thinks nothing of jokes about bodily functions or raunchy sex.

The women they hang with are not simply pretty, but downright gorgeous as well as adorable (think Katherine Heigl, Rashida Jones, Kristen Bell or Jaime Pressly). “Hang with” is a good way of putting it, since none of these guys know how to woo a woman. Bashful is their most practiced artform.

Now the big question: would any woman date this guy?

Reality check: No.

It’s okay for men to enjoy a fine bromance or two–but not if it gets in the way of true love with the woman of your dreams.

So, what does a man boy have to do to turn into a man? Here are five tips for guys who don’t want to spend their lives alone on the couch:

Tip #1: Get off the couch. No woman is going to magically wander into your garage pad. If you want to find your Ms. Right, you’re going to have to go out there and find her. Yes, your favorite bar is one place to look. So is your favorite, park, bookstore, or taco bar. Go where you think you’ll have fun – and you’ll find a woman having a great time, too. Maybe you can share some good times together.

Tip #2: Look your best. Sorry, but saggy pants and a tee isn’t your best look. Jason Segel can get away with Bermuda shorts and Uggs, but dude: he’s in a movie, and you’re not. So go get your hair styled, then buy a pair of jeans that actually fit. While you’re at it, put on a button-down shirt over that tee. No one has ever died from wearing a shirt with a collar. 

Tip #3: Open your mouth. Start a conversation. Don’t say something mean, cruel, or smarty-alecky. Instead, go for kind, insightful, or informative. Ask her questions. Answer her questions honestly. And listen. She’ll appreciate that.

Tip #4: Ask for her telephone number. Then follow up. If you feel good about the conversation, chances are she did, too. So follow up. If you talk yourself out of doing so before you even dial her number, you have no one to blame but yourself for not giving either of you a chance to take it to the next step: that first date.

Tip #5: Don’t give up. If your goal is a relationship, make it happen. Work it. That means putting out feelers to friends, going out and socializing, and –here’s the hard part – striking up conversations with women.  Talk to women who seem nice, and have something to say. And remember, you have something to say, too.

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Other MVL Articles about Dating, Singles and Divorce

Ten Great Places to Meet Your Soul Mate

Martians Need to Learn the Art of the Apology

Walking Away from Intimate Violence

Dating on a Budget

Reel Romance: 4 Date Night Films

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Posted in Dating