The Love Needs of Women and Men, Part Two

May 29, 2009

Expressing your appreciation to those you love will make you both smile.

Expressing your appreciation to those you loves gives you both something to smile about.

Yesterday, in part one of this two-part feature, we discussed how men and women have twelve different love needs. Men need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement. Women need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance.

While we focus on each other as intimate partners, it is helpful to remember that loving support we give to other Martians and Venusians in our lives, be they children, parents, siblings, or friends, the same gender realities and responses apply.

By recognizing the specific gender needs of those who mean the most to you, you’ll give them the love and support they need:

1. She needs caring and he needs trust. When a man shows heartfelt concern for a woman’s well-being, she feels loved and cared for. In receiving this love she becomes more trusting of the man who is giving her caring attention. When a woman’s attitude is open and receptive he feels trusted. To a man this means that he is doing his best for his partner. His happiness rises simply by knowing this.

2. She needs understanding and he needs acceptance. When a man listens without judgment but with empathy to a woman, she feels heard and understood. The more her need to be heard and understood is fulfilled, the easier it is for her to give her man the acceptance he so very much wants. When a man feels accepted he becomes a much better listener.

3. She seeks respect, he wants appreciation. When a man responds to a woman in a way that acknowledges her rights, wishes, and needs, she feels respected. Recognizing her thoughts and feelings is for a woman the very definition of respect. In turn, a man who feels appreciated is empowered by that form of love and encouraged to respect the rights, wishes and needs of his partner.

4. She wants devotion and he wants admiration. A woman thrives when she feels adored. Whenever she feels that she is his top priority in life, she is receiving the devotion that she so desires. A man feels admired when his partner is amazed by one or several of his unique characteristics, which may include: humor, strength, persistence, integrity, honesty, romance, kindness, love, and understanding. When a man feels admired, he feels secure enough to devote himself to his woman and to adore her.

5. She needs validation and he needs approval. A woman is looking for a man’s support for her point of view. With that support she gets the validation she so desires. This confirms her right to feel the way she does. In truth, everyman wants to be a knight in shining armor for the woman he loves. A woman’s approving attitude acknowledges his goodness and expresses her overall satisfaction with him.

6. She needs reassurance and he thrives on encouragement. When a man repeatedly shows that he cares, understands, respects, validates, and is devoted to his partner, her primary need to be reassured is fulfilled. Similarly, a man needs to be encouraged by the woman he most admires. A woman’s encouraging attitude gives hope and courage to a man by expressing confidence in his abilities and in the depth of his character.

If you want to bring out the best in the Venusian or Martian in your life, never forget the power of these 12 different forms of love. Bad days, turn quickly into good days with a touch of love from the one you love the most.

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