Honesty Starts with Being Honest with Yourself
August 2, 2009
In successful relationships, communicating the complete truth about your feelings is essential. This is the first step in resolving emotional tension and enriching your relationships with others. But, of course, before you can communicate the truth about what you feel, you have to know what you are feeling in the first place.
Once you indeed know that, you are more capable of communicating it in a loving and considerate manner at an appropriate time and place. In fact, your ability to feel love is in direct proportion to your ability to tell the complete truth to yourself and to others.
The more truth you have in your life, the more love you will experience. Honest relationships with direct and effective communication are a deep well of increasing love and self-esteem.
Many times we seek out relationships in order to protect ourselves from the truth. We have an unwritten rule, a secret sign you might say, and it reads, ” If you don’t tell me the truth then I won’t tell you the truth.” Relationships built in this manner can be easy and comfortable, but do not serve to increase your sense of self-love and self-worth.
Often we are moved away from being our authentic selves as a result of past unsatisfactory relationships. In truth, creating more love in your life has nothing to do with changing who you are or trying to change others. As a matter of fact, the mere attempt to do this just gets in the way of what you really want to accomplish. Again we have put out that sign that says, “Don’t tell me the truth and I won’t tell you the truth.”
There is nothing wrong with a desire to change except when it prevents you from being your authentic self. Any change that is motivated by a sense of self-loathing will never create a deeper sense of love. You may create greater outer success, perhaps have more friends, even get a better job, but you will not gain a greater sense of self-respect.
Change and growth are a healthy part of life, but we need to remember that what we are today is already good enough and worthy of love and acceptance.
In a quiet moment of self reflection you will realize that any hope of being honest with others must grow out of a lasting desire to be honest with yourself. Change that grows out of an honest desire to improve yourself will create the kind of positive change you are seeking. That kind of change begins with one essential key: telling yourself and telling others the complete truth.
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