Our True Desires: The First Four Blocks

June 30, 2009

Salvador Dali's Birth of Liquid Desires (1932)

Last Tuesday, in the first part of this four part series,  we discussed how taking the time to recognize and honor your desires is an essential step on the journey to finding your true self. Remember that you may have many kinds of desires: but all of these desires fall into two areas, one is the soul’s desire, the other is the mind’s desire.

There are twelve ways, however, that we interfere with the process of listening to our desires and getting closer to those things we truly want. By being aware of the ways we disconnect from our true feelings we can better sense what what we truly want.

The twelve blocks that cause us to disconnect from our true wants are revenge, attachment, doubt, rationalization, defiance, submission, avoidance, justification, rejection, withholding, reaction, and sacrifice. This week we will look at the first four of these twelve blocks.

The first block is the depth of our own anger. The lesson we need to learn is to get mad but reject the need to get even.

That old saying, “don’t get mad, get even,” is sure to take y0u away from your soul’s desire. In truth your time, energy, and attention are limited. Whenever you are in the grip of blaming others for events in your life you will get distracted from the belief that you can have what you want. After all, how could you, if you allow yourself to think that someone has kept you from reaching your true desires. By learning to release blame with forgiveness you will free your energy to pursue your own hopes and dreams.

Second, you must give up attachments while you keep desiring. When we lose something or someone in our life, we feel such a wide range of emotions including sadness, fear, sorrow, and frustration. While it is of course essential that we honor and heal our loss, we must remain mindful that when and if our hearts are not healed, we hold on to what is no longer available to us. In so doing we cling to the past, and we unknowingly push away our future. To let go of attachment, we need to find love in our hearts again. Every change in our life, no matter how tragic, always opens the door to the next chapter in our story. It is up to us to turn the page and move forward.

Third, doubt your doubts. This involves the thoughtful art of distinguishing between uncertainty and doubt. In the pursuit of any goal, in order to draw in more knowledge and insight, you need first to feel a degree of uncertainty. But, remember that there is a big difference between doubt, which is not believing, and simply not knowing. By experiencing uncertainty without doubt, you open yourself to your most creative self. When we doubt that sometihing we want is possible, we automatically stop wanting. Doubt kills passion. Release that doubt by acknowledging your uncertainty while remaining committed to all that is possible.

The fourth of our twelve blocks is rationalization. In fact, we rationalize our actions with such ease, we often fail to notice what we are doing. Telling ourselves such things as: “You can’t win them all,” “My goals were unrealistic,” “It’s not the right time,” rationalizes away our true desires. When we do this we cause suppression and disconnection from what we want. Rationalizations drain us of our energy and often leave us feeling bored and depressed. The way to beat this cycle is to accept our natural tendency to rationalize our actions and acknowledge the outcome that we actually wanted. Without dismissing many of our rationalizations we cannot self correct and put ourselves back on the path to our true desires.

This article is the second of a four part series that will appear every Tuesday about understanding and recognizing our desires and the twelve ways we disconnect from our true desires. Next week in part three we will examine four more blocks that we place in the way between ourselves and what we truly want.

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Want to accomplish your goals?

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