Comments for Mars Venus LIVING

Comment on Dear Lauren: Should We Break Up After High School? by Lauren Gray

Lauren Gray — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:46:48 +0000

Thank you thank you thank you Aneissa for sharing your story. I absolutely agree! We never stop changing and we never stop defining. I just wanted to ask about “young” people because in high school, kids try on personalities like they try on clothes. Their definition of themselves is so fluid and so dependent on the people surrounding them that I think who their partner is has a big influence on who they are. But I definitely see your point that that can carry throughout our lives and isn’t limited to youth (not to say 40 isn’t young!) ; ) This is why it is so important to practice self-reflection and independence so that we can grow and change into who we are meant to be without feeling limited or stifled by the important people in our lives and their opinions of who we ought to be.
-Lauren

Comment on Five Keys to Asking A Man for His Support by Ruth

Ruth — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:03:22 +0000

This is great info, John! One thing I have learned along the way about making requests is to sometimes use language like this: “I would love it if you would do X.”

What do you think about that?

Comment on Five Keys to Asking A Man for His Support by Amber McKee

Amber McKee — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:49:00 +0000

John, I absolutely LOVE how you explain the differences between “Mars/Venus”! You make it so easy to understand and relate to! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and talents!

Comment on Relationships Rejuvenate the Aging Brain by Janice Hoffman

Janice Hoffman — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:44:15 +0000

Great information John. Thanks for sharing.

Comment on Five Keys to Asking A Man for His Support by Donna Kim-Brand

Donna Kim-Brand — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:13:21 +0000

As someone who has spent many years in other cultures (i.e. Korea and England), I find that what is considered polite or acceptable in one culture is seen as rude and demanding in another. So it can be a particularly tricky dance to ASK appropriately to someone from another culture, or to know just what RESPONSE they really want.. What you say and mean may not be what they hear and respond to. It can be funny, and also frustrating!

Comment on Five Keys to Asking A Man for His Support by Steve

Steve — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:35:36 +0000

Other than the non-demanding attitude,you did not address this:
The inner child- My girl friend asks me to do something, then complains that it was not done right. With this input on a regular basis, my inner child does not want anything to do with a sexual relationship with this person. He just wants to throw in the towel and retreat. Even though sex is important to me, it is not with this woman. With her high IQ brain she even thinks I am not interested in sex. While the sex thing is waining as I am ageing it is still important to me and look froward to when she leaves.

Comment on Five Keys to Asking A Man for His Support by Karen Redding

Karen Redding — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:22:56 +0000

Thank you John, for continuing to give your valuable hints and tips. You da Man!

Karen

Comment on Five Keys to Asking A Man for His Support by Deb B

Deb B — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:13:31 +0000

Our issue is just the opposite. My husband will not let me support him when he is having problems. I encourage him through out our daily lives and want what he wants. But when it comes to problems, my Martian pushes me away verbally. Please Help! I want to be his partner.

Comment on Dear Lauren: Should We Break Up After High School? by Aneissa

Aneissa — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:11:27 +0000

I’m not a young person at 40 and I am in my second marriage. My first marriage lasted 15 years. In my first marriage, it was VERY difficult to dive into a new definition of myself. I got to the point that I felt compelled to “dive” in and though I wanted my marriage to last and flourish, I felt no other option was acceptable other then being ME no matter the result. That relationship did not survive the changes.

Now I am married again and there are a whole lot more new definitions of me that are emerging. (I think it can be called a mid-life crisis by some.) It is scary and challenging.

My definition of my marriage is also changing. This time I feel free to dive into the changes. It is scary and I have fear of the changes ending this relationship but we are adjusting and moving forward with life. Things we believed would ALWAYS be true of us as a couple have changed and adjusted.

So no matter your age or how long you have been in a relationship, things change. That is the only constant in our existance. A beneficial, healthy relationship will weather and even flourish as it grows and changes.

Lauren, do we EVER stop re-defining ourselves? How we handle that is what truly defines who we are as a person and as a partner.

Comment on Dear Lauren: Why Do Men Like Email? by sheila

sheila — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 08:13:30 +0000

Dear Lauren!

Thank you so much for your reponse. I will take everything you explained by heart and learn from hereon. I’d also keep in mind to celebrate and cherish a man’s every act of kindness. This greatly helped me to be more understanding and accepting of gender differences. I am sure to come back here for more. God speed!