Rejection hurts. Here's how to keep it from holding you back.
This is the last of a four part series on the successful puruit of our true desires. In the first part of this series, we discussed how taking the time to recognize and honor our desires is an essential step on the journey to finding our true selves.
Two weeks ago we examined the first four of twelve blocks that cause us to disconnect from what we truly want. Those first four blocks are revenge, attachment, doubt, and rationalization.
Last week we examined the next four blocks, which are defiance, submission, avoidance, and justification. This week we conclude this series of stories with an examination of the final four blocks we place between us and reaching our true desires; those being rejection, withholding, reaction, and sacrifice.
First, learn to reject rejection. Rejection wells up inside of us from a place of resentment. Here’s a simple example: you have someone in your life that you know well, it may have been a childhood friend, a sibling or a cousin, or someone you became close to when you reached your adult years. Suppose they hit it big in a business venture. Now you see that one time peer living a much grander life; big home, nice cars, exciting vacations, and more. Suddenly you find yourself finding fault with just about everything you see this close acquaintance say and do. By rejecting their success you are unknowingly rejecting your own and moving away from a desire you might have to experience great success of your own. Learn to reject rejection that comes from a place of envy. Rather be happy for the success of others and simply say to yourself, “That’s for me.”
Withholding is a block to our true desires because it removes us from being the person we most want to be. The greatest pain we can experience is holding back the love we feel in our hearts. When the tendency to withhold exists, we need to be aware of it and then begin to let it go. Generally at those times we do not want to be loving. Sometimes the best way to release this tendency is to journal our feelings about the person or situation that is causing us to become stuck in this place of withholding. Always feel free to focus and to vent your negative feelings. It is better to journal and explore your feelings for fifteen minutes than withhold your love or approval for fifteen years.
Aim to respond rather than react. Whenever someone gets angry with us, we automatically become angry in return. This is a reaction. We are simply matching their emotion and sending it back. This reactive behavior causes us to become caught in negativity. If you want your life to be different, you have to stop this endless cycle of reaction. If someone hurts you, you naturally react and want to hurt back. We live in the illusion that it works to simply react. In truth, it is just one more stumbling block we place in front of the journey to our true desires. If you face your negative feelings and realize the power that they can have over you, you will then begin to respond rather than react.
Finally, when we make endless sacrifices for others we lose sight of those things we hope to accomplish for ourselves. Making others happy is healthy and good, but it is just a part of what you want. To reach your own desires, take time to ask yourself repeatedly what you want to be happy. One way to get in touch with what you want, if indeed you are an “overgiver,” is to pretend that you are selfish and seeking to first give to yourself. Getting in touch with your personal desires is the only way to reach some of the goals that you have put on a back burner while you have been busy addressing the needs of others.
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Other MarsVenusLiving.com Health & Happiness Articles
Our True Desires: The First Four Building Blocks
Jackson Story Reveals that Both Mars and Venus Jump Online
The Best Relationship Stress Buster: Exercise
Processing Your Negative Feelings
Further Reflections on Freedom
Michelle Obama’s Garden of Hope
From Bonnie’s Garden: Feed Your SOL, One Ingredient at a Time
Both Mars and Venus Need a Good Breakfast
Sugar Substitutes Prove to Be a Not So Sweet Deal
When the Search for the Perfect Diet Goes Too Far
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