For most of the second half of the last century, couples cohabitating were said to be “living in sin.” And prior to 1950, well let’s just say it was not done. In the 19th Century, cohabitation was considered a scandal.
Today, as we suspect you know, more couples than ever before cohabitate, at least for a brief time, prior to marriage. (For the purposes of the study, cohabitation is defined as a man and a woman, not married, living together, and having a sexual relationship.) It’s also important to know that the results of this study commissioned by the National Center for Health Statistics, a division of the US Department of Health and Human Services, were based on a nationally representative sample of 12,571 men and women aged 15–44 living in the United States.
The study revealed that cohabitation is not as harmful to a relationship or to a couple’s chances at a successful marriage as opponents of cohabitation have claimed in the past.
The study surveyed married couples who had been married ten or more years and found that the percentage of happily married couples who lived together before marriage was nearly equal to couples who did not.
For many years, starting in the 1960s, there has been an active debate about whether cohabitation before marriage was or was not a good idea. Just last year, a group of researchers at the University of Denver, leaning toward a more conservative approach toward marriage, found that couples who cohabit before they marry have a higher chance of getting divorced than those who don’t.
That study found, however, that reasons provided for cohabitation were an important factor in predicting the relationship’s success. Couples who, for instance, moved in together to “test the relationship” were most likely to break up, whereas couples who lived together to “spend a greater amount of time in the company of one another, or out of convenience of lifestyle, and or financial practicality, stood a better chance of lasting.
The new report, released February 2010, also found that married couples who lived together first had a higher chance of divorcing, but the difference was statistically small. Out of 13,000 couples surveyed, 61% of women and 63% of men married ten years or more had cohabited with their spouse before marriage, whereas 66% of women and 69% of men married ten years or more had not cohabited.
The study also found that couples who lived together without first deciding to marry had a higher chance of getting divorced if they later did marry than those who were first engaged or had a clear plan to marry before cohabiting. Factors such as age, education and ethnicity also affected whether cohabitation led to a successful marriage.
Obviously, there are no certain paths to marital success. But it is revealing how the attitudes of couples around the decision to first cohabitate and then marry, made a difference in the survival rates of various marriages. What the study also makes apparent is that the age when cohabitation was considered socially unacceptable is as outdated today as 8-track tape decks and black & white television sets. Acceptable social customs constantly change; love stories, whatever path they take, are eternal.
