Cooking, cleaning and sex aren’t often found in the same sentence. But a recent study shows they are more related than they might first appear.
Married couples that actively share in household chores also enjoy a more active sex life, according to a study of 6,877 married couples published recently in the Journal of Family Issues.
A type of couple referred to by the researchers as “go-getter couples” follow a “work hard, play hard” mentality. They feel more connected when they work as a unit and choose to make sex a priority. And, according to one of the authors, these couples are the wave of the future.
The study entitled, “Who has the time? The relationship between household labor time and sexual frequency,” is authored by professors Scott Yabiku of Arizona State University, and Constance Gager of Montclair State University, both of whom work in the field of family research. In it, they introduce the “multiple spheres hypothesis,” which distinguishes the go-getter couples whose willingness to each devote more time to household management, directly relates to their willingness to do the same in the bedroom. Professor Yabiku makes it clear that the findings do not show that these couples engage in chores in the hope of creating a more active sex life, but “go-getter couples” are built around this type of relationship. “It’s not that if you do housework, you have more sex,” Yabiku says. “It’s that managing your household and being active in your sex life is a result of a certain type of couple.”
The study’s data include nine different household activities: cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, laundry, driving family members to activities, shopping, yard work, car maintenance and paying bills. The results show that on average women spent 41.75 hours per week doing chores, while men spent 23.36 hours. The couples in the study report having sex an average of 83 times per year.
Couples may not be so attracted to the idea of their spouse holding a broom or carrying a load of laundry, but it’s the sentiment of shared interests and dedication to making home a more livable place that couples say turns them on. It’s possible that “working on the same task … makes the couple remember why they married—to be on the same team, to build a life,” says Chicago writer Julie Danis.
We believe couples that elude the “go-getter” label still have a fighting chance of equaling the score. John Gray points out in Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus that men and women place different values on the positives they bring to a relationship. Men feel they score more points by providing financially for the family, while women feel that scores only one point, but points are scored each time something is done that helps to manage their personal life and relationship.
So to you guys, in other words, this means for women the little things add up, which includes sharing in housework. Placing a little less importance on making money and a little more on helping around the house can go a long way to bridge the gap in point values and make for a stronger marriage and, thus, hopefully, a more active sex life.
