Dear Lauren: How Can I Find A Great Guy in 2010?

Dear Lauren,  I am 29 and single. New Year’s resolutions are coming around again which means I’m frantically trying to lose weight, save money, have more self-esteem, and fall in love. I am aware this won’t happen in a week. I haven’t met any interesting men in 2009, and I know my New Year’s resolution for 2010 is going to be meeting a man and falling in love, again. How can I make that happen in 2010 so that I can feel successful and cross it off my resolution list? How do I attract someone special? I want to have someone to kiss when the clock strikes midnight a year from now. Ready for a New Year in Charleston, SC

Dear Ready, Great question! I know most men and women can relate to your new years resolution woes. I, for one, am a big fan of New Year’s…ahem…resolutions, I mean. Since “The Secret” came out there has been a trendy New Age wave going around called “Manifestation.” This is the practice of bringing things into your life by the power of your intention. It’s kind of like ordering fast food at a drive through: you see the picture of what you want, you hold it in your mind, you ask for it (order it), and then you move into the right place to receive what you ordered. It’s simple and something we do everyday. But somehow we just forget to apply it to the big stuff…like, love.

Your first step is seeing the picture of what you want. Let’s be honest, we all have an idea of what we want and most of the time that idea isn’t so good for us. My advice is to go out with all kinds of men. If the grocery store or local pub isn’t yielding enough date invites, give online dating a try. If the guy wants to do more emailing than dating, check out “Dear Lauren: Great Guy Online, But Won’t Meet Offline” for some motivating tips. Match.com and Yahoo Personals are grocery stores packed with men and women of all different flavors. So have fun shopping!

When you go out on these dates, instead of focusing on what you don’t like about your date: he’s too short, he’s too fat, he’s balding, he has terrible taste in clothes…whatever, focus on what you like about him! Is he funny? Is he a gentleman?  Remember he doesn’t need to be the complete package for you to see what is positive in him. If you focus on seeing the positive then you are more likely to attract those positive qualities in a future date. If all you notice is the negative, then that is exactly what you are ordering off the menu.

If you are hesitant about dating because you feel a little low in the self-esteem and confidence department, check out “Dear Lauren: How Can I Get My Confidence Back” for a lesson in how men really work and subsequently how there is really nothing to worry about.

Your next step is moving into the right place to receive what you ordered. If you aren’t happy with yourself or your life then you are not in the right place to be in a relationship. Despite popular opinion, a man cannot fix a life you don’t like. Of course there will be men who are attracted to the “damsel in distress” but let me tell you, this is not the road to true love, this is the road to a lot of drama. Check out my column “Dear Lauren: The Girl I Like Has An Eating Disorder” for an explanation of what a victim is and why men should avoid them at all costs! A man is attracted to a happy woman. He wants to feel successful in a relationship and the only way a man knows success with a woman is when she is happy. So focus on what you are grateful for this year rather than what you are deprived of and he will be hot and ready for you to pick up and enjoy.

Sometimes if a guy really likes you, he moves very slowly. Sometimes to the point where you question if he just wants to be your friend or if he’s actually attracted to you.  I am a huge advocate for developing friendship and trust before the sexual stuff makes things messy. But let me tell you, sometimes, a girl has waited long enough! If this is the case between you and your newfound Mr. Right, check out “Dear Lauren: I Want Him To Kiss Me.”

Now that you have the tools to attract an “interesting” man, the real work begins. And remember, we can all use a little advice on occasion, so be sure to check out my column every Saturday throughout 2010 for dating and relationship tips Have A Happy New Year Everyone!

To get more information on how you can build the life you want and fulfill all those resolutions for 2010, check out my friend Zen’s website: powermanifestation.com.