Meeting A Great Mate Offline

February 2, 2010

As a society we have become so enamored with high tech that we have almost forgotten the many ways people met before anyone knew what a megabyte of memory was. For all the buzzing up, facebook and twittering going on, we should not forget as Valentine’s Day approaches that millions of us still meet eye to eye, and heart to heart.

In case you’ve forgotten some of the many  ways that we meet offline, here is a pre-Valentine’s Day check list of where great mates may be found.

One, don’t miss the chance to attend a friend’s party. There is still no better way to meet a mate than to be introduced by a friend at a party and to fall into a conversation. After all at most parties people are attending by invitation so it’s reasonable to assume that the people you meet there are in a sense pre-screened in a way that simply does not happen at a public event or a public establishment. Here are nine more ways to meet a great mate….

Two, get active in a community cause or service. Doing something you have a passion for is the opportunity to meet someone who shares that passion. Of equal importance is the simple fact that community causes create one more chance for you to be out there. And when you’re out of the house, or out from behind a desk at the office, the chance to meet a soulmate jumps exponentially.

Three, be a team player, whatever the interest or sport, from softball to bowling league, or charity tennis too; so many people meet sharing good times and great games.

Four, never miss a chance for a class reunion. Countless matches have been made at class reunions. That guy you thought was kind of goofy at 17 has turned into a 27 year-old hunk, and that bookish gal in the class of ‘99 is a knockout in 2009. Drop your apprehensions and take up the challenge, you may be thrilled and surprised with the result.

Five, beware of group intimidation. It’s great to have a posse but remember it also makes you pretty intimidating to the opposite sex. Breakout of the crowd and fly solo now and then if you’re hoping to be seen as approachable whether at the town picnic, or the neighborhood bar.

Six, special events are the right events for you. Don’t miss bake sales, and chili cook-off contests, you’re not the only one coming without a date.

Seven, join a gym. Whether it’s a yoga class, spinning, pilates, weight work, or just sitting in a co-ed sauna, gyms are great places to meet others who share your interest in staying fit and active.

Eight, museums are places where you can admire more than just the art. It’s easy to see who are the singles and who are the attached when wandering past exhibits. And there is nothing like a beautiful work of art to spark a conversation. Take a slow stroll through your local art museum and you’ll see what we mean.

Nine, be in a place of good cheer. When the local team is playing a big game, go and have a beer or wine at the local sports bar. Nothing like a great game, and a big win to get people in the mood for talking with strangers. It’s a magical thing about sports but when the home team scores a big goal, hits a homerun, or scores a touchdown; total strangers embrace. If they lose the big game remember the old adage: misery loves company. Stand near someone of interest and you may make a score of your own.

Ten, sunset at the beach. If you live near one go sixty minutes before sunset. Generally by that time families have left for home and you have adult couples and singles left. Perhaps it’s a time of reflection that comes over us all as the sun starts to settle into the sea, but you’d be amazed by how many romances have started when two lonely spirits meet on a beach at sundown.

A word to the wise: Some of these ideas may work the very first time you try. Others may need several atempts. Keep one important fact in mind: coming home after work and settling into a quiet night is no way to go from single to being part of a couple. If you want to win at this game you have to be committed to playing. And, as is true of most everything else in our lives, persistence will ultimately determine your success.

Finally, keep this truth in mind as well: online or offline, quite often our ability to meet someone falls victim to our own insecurity. Just last night you might have been at a party and been standing near or next to an interesting and attractive person, but you simply felt to insecure to make a connection. Later this week we’ll deal with the topic of flirting and uncertainty and how you can evolve from insecure to assured in the dating game.

Posted in Dating, –Dating Trends