The Bachelor’s Appeal is His Commitment–to His Child

February 18, 2009

As a dad, he's fully committed. Viewers are betting that he's also committed to finding a wife.

For thirteen editions, this has been the pitch for the television reality show, The Bachelor:

“Week after week, a handsome single guy eliminates yet one more of the 25 beautiful women who have been competing for his love…”

But the response of previous editions’ viewers, as evidenced by their dwindling numbers from one season to the next, was: “Been there, done that.”

That jadedness isn’t without cause, when you consider that none of these gents actually walked down the aisle with the the last gal standing.

So, why do viewers seem to have a different attitude toward the latest edition of the show?

Because Jason Mesnick, the 32-year-old Seattle-based account executive who is this edition’s bachelor, has one thing going for him that none of the other guys had:

A three-year-old son.

And having been the losing finalist in the prior season of The Bachelorette, Mesnick is no stranger to viewers.

Here are what some of them say is his appeal:

“It comes across that he’s serious about finding his soul mate…”

“He’s not going to be breaking hearts—since he’s already had his broken…”

And: “He doesn’t have time to make mistakes, so he’s taking this opportunity very seriously.”

In fact, viewers (the show airs on Mondays, 8pm, ABC) find the odds in their favor (not to mention the show’s, and the lucky lady he chooses) that he’ll be the Bachelor who finally ties the knot.

Here’s what that says about dating and commitment, both on screen and in person:

1. Women are waking up to the fact that the man-boy isn’t ready–or  willing–to commit. If the emotional maturity isn’t there, you can’t force someone into commitment. So don’t even try.

2. Single parents should not be afraid to get back in the dating arena. Yes, you have a commitment to your children. But you also have a commitment to yourself: to find a relationship that makes you happy—and in doing so, your children will be happy as well.

3. While looking for love, keep focused on who you are, and your true priorities. You’ll meet a lot of potential partners. But if you are attracted to them for the wrong reason, in the long run the relationship is not going to work out. Instead, keep to your primary objective.

4. Not everyone you date will live up to your initial impression, or your long-term expectations. It takes being with a partner over a period of time (or a series of dates) to determine if you connect. All the more reason not to jump into bed too soon. And yes, while attraction is key to initiating a relationship, it is not as important as trust, friendship and similar  values in maintaining a relationship over time – and perhaps even ’til death do you both part.

5. Take your time with love. Don’t rush things. Don’t get swept up in the moment. Be sure to ask all the right questions–and listen to the answers given.

Posted in Dating